The Gift of Imperfection
As author Brene' Brown teaches through her best selling book, The Gift of Imperfection, "You must do your own heart work" She also states, " You cannot give from what you do not have ". This book, along with all her others on vulnerability should be right there next to Netter's Anatomy on every pre med student's book list .
How many times did I tell that to my client with "no time" to treat her fibromyalgia or discuss the scientific rationale behind persistent cognitive pain? How many strained bodies have I mended after suffering from the ill effects of being the perfect mom, the most dedicated athlete or the strongest CEO and then skip my lunch, fail to drink my eight glasses of water and beat myself up for hours after missing a show at my child's school? I still struggle but before 2001, I thought it was okay. I was happy to sacrifice my health in the name of taking care of others.
Where Do You Fit In?
Right now, I don't care about ICD 10 or who values me. I just want to help 100 more wounded healthcare warriors take the leap I did into healing themselves and using it to be a better version of themselves for others. I want to remind western leaders to lead with spiritual leadership and embody their authentic self. In the process I want to see if we can collectively shine and learn how to heal the broken western health care system. So Belly Guru 2.0 is focused on coaching the holistic health of any care giving leaders. There are just too many fellow warrior goddesses, just like the younger me out there. I know because they are coming to see me as clients under the illusion of being unable to perfect themselves. They are filled with things to do and drowning in their own abundant knowledge wisdom all the while they are dealing with unhealed strains or stress related bowel and gynecological dysfunction. I feel for them. I do because I know the painfully slow process of meeting the truth in their heart. I am 43 years old now but I began my similar heart work as a 25 year old, burnt out physio who was on a fast paced trajectory towards the top of my field. For the previous ten years I strategically navigated how not to be vulnerable and collect my value with awards on my wall so you can imagine my paralysis when I had the paycheck, the apartment, the man and the job I thought I wanted and was miserable. Tapping into my core connection felt like a shot in the gut.
Circa 1998: Realizing core values
I remember the unraveling like it is yesterday. The night before I was looking through some continuing education offers in a magazine wondering how I could better myself. It was before my Monday work shift at a fairly new "dream" job that had my schedule open for 18-24 patients per day, It was Sunday evening and I was already feeling nauseous going in. That Sunday morning I just about decided I was going to be adding an OCS credential instead of a SCS and for whatever reason I saw an ad about yoga training and started to cry. I wanted to do it but it was not on my list of things I HAD to do. At the time taking a fitness training and making it physical therapy was a step down and backwards in my monkey mind. Somewhere between the tears I fell asleep but the next day I called in to work , stayed in my pajamas and loaded on feeling guilty as hell. I was actually the bread winner in my newlywed family back then but within a week I gave my notice. I was gone. I was officially depressed for just over a month. My therapist said I must be tired of learning and doing and wanting to be so many things for so many people. All I remember is that at 25 years old I found myself crying day after day about my stressed out life while sitting on my balcony in a great apartment in NYC telling myself that despite a crap load of success on my walls, I was such a loser.
Having a Voice became Wanting Someone "Better" to Listen
Fast forward to 2015. I am the creator of the Belly Guru Yoga Training System which is an integrative system of yogic lifestyle coaching and teaching. It has evolved into a Registered yoga school, an entry level yoga therapy bridge program for licensed health care providers and a personal heal the healer system. Up until October of 2013 I owned an integrative free standing clinic with nutrition, massage, yoga classes, private therapy and counseling contracted in. I have never seen myself as other than an integrative PT but I grew muscles to angle the filters to my audience. Along the last ten years I feel I have come full circle and am creating again. I have enjoyed seeing how all the jagged pieces have became a bigger picture and I consider looking at that yoga ad in 1998 as my breakdown of divine intervention. Brene' Brown reported that 2007 it was her year and first step to the successful life she is living. Mine was a decade before.
Becoming a CEO is enough
Now I am onto Belly Guru 2.0. Besides helping my integrative PT clients, I want to help other female healthleaders find their clarity faster. I want to help them create their unique brand of balancing awesome because I now realize that making a difference in the world is a force of nature you can not deny, The change will come to the world by connecting feminine values into a collective flame. My blue ocean of Belly Guru 1.0 was about putting my big girl panties on and knowing I am actually better than the summation of my professional credentials. Now with Belly Guru 2.0, I can actually share the process. In fact I let go of my wellness clinic to focus on this and despite 16 or 17 letters after my name I am the most comfortably I have ever been calling myself just plain old Dr.Lisa, PT.
Yes transitioning thru your own crap from an amateur perspective of success to a professional has a new level big league self care responsibility. It is a scary process but yoga helps. So does...
- Having a mastermind of collective weirdos lovingly K.I.S.Sing medicine like me
- Knowing how to blend coaching my clients and treating them
- Being there for that one client who needs more of a partnership than another prescription
- Creating enough revenue to make my own hours to make a healthy breakfast, pack nutritious lunches and get to my kids games and travel with my husband and son's lacrosse travel team
- Creating my own definition of success as an extension of the authentic me in a healthy balance between fire and resiliency is amazingly restorative in it's own right.
So I am here to tell you that you have all you need inside.
- "You do not need another letter after your name to feel valuable" you are plenty valuable already to me but you MAY need a coach to know and breath and sell your value in an abundant way everyday.
- Stop taking classes for a little while "You do not need another tool to help you have success now" but you do need a mirror sometimes to know if you are acting like a tool and could use some training on social connection.
- Become your best by being the CEO of our own life first. Soon you will naturally know if your happiness equals the need to be the CEO of a company but don't worry, you won't be wasting time. The second comes naturally by way of the first.